


Se défend

by Tzalmavet



Category: OFF (Game)
Genre: Alternate Universe - Canon Divergence, Gen, Ham - Freeform, Sort of Violence, Spoilers
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-06-07
Updated: 2017-06-07
Packaged: 2018-11-09 23:44:12
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 808
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/11115387
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Tzalmavet/pseuds/Tzalmavet
Summary: Hugo isn't ready to die.  But what can he do against the unstoppable purificatory incarnate that is the Batter?





	Se défend

"I'm here."

The Batter stood in the doorway, powerful and frightening as ever.  Fists clenched, bat in hand, Add-Ons at his side, he was a killing machine if Hugo had ever saw one.  Hugo trembled.  He didn't know what to say.  He'd seen this coming, but now that his death was quite literally staring him in the face, Hugo suddenly felt completely unprepared for it.

Without another word, the Batter marched forward, lifting his weapon high.  The Add-Ons spun in midair, humming with lethal spiritual energy.  Hugo coughed and felt tears in his eyes.  This couldn't be!  He didn't wanna die!  Not yet!  Not so horribly!

The bat swung down, and Hugo lifted the ham in his lap and cowered behind it.  If he couldn't avoid death, he could at least make it hurt a little less.

_**THWACK!  ZAP!** _

The bat slammed into the meat, and the Add-Ons' competences fired into it.  The Batter drew back to strike again, and Hugo realized something.

He'd taken no damage.  The Batter hadn't hurt him at all.

As he blinked in surprise at how his wrists hadn't been fractured by the hit, Hugo saw the metal bat coming at his head.  He shrieked in panic and raised his ham again.

_**THWACK!** _

Hugo's toes clenched against the floor, and his entire body rattled from the force of the blow, but once again, no hit points were lost.  Alpha lashed at him with a chain of ethereal energy, but it deflected to the floor and vanished upon striking the ham.  The same went for Omega's and Epsilon's flashes of blurried and tragic light-- both bounced harmlessly off the leg of ham in Hugo's hands.

But that wasn't about to stop the Batter.

**_THWACK!_ **

"Eek!" Hugo squeaked, unharmed.  The Batter rolled his shoulders and twirled the bat in his fingers.

**_THWACK!_ **

"Aaah!"

**_THWACK!_ **

"Eeee!"

**_THWACK!_ **

"Yeek!"

**_THWACK!_ **

"Stop it!"

Hugo sobbed as the Batter struck into the ham again and again.  Undamaged as he was, constantly blocking the blows was absolutely nerve-wracking, and being attacked by someone over three times his size was quite terrifying, too.

"Please, stop!" Hugo coughed, as the Batter's action bar recharged for another hit.  The purifier didn't say anything, but mouthed a word that looked an awful lot like 'die,' and laid into him again.

**_THWACK!_ **

No effect.

The Batter took a step back, and Hugo shivered.  The Batter clenched and unclenched his fingers around his bat, staring him down unblinkingly.  He then stepped forwards again, and started pacing a tight and rapid circle around Hugo, like an angry tiger.  Hugo kept his ham at the ready, angling it as the Batter and his Add-Ons moved.

"Ghh..." Hugo sniffled, "Go away."  The Batter didn't reply.  Just bared his teeth, and kept furiously looking for an attack opening.

Eyes wide, the Batter lunged.

**_THWACK! THWACK! THWACK! THWACK! THWACK!_ **

**_THWACK! THWACK! THWACK! THWACK! THWACK!_ **

**_THWACK! THWACK! THWACK! THWACK! THWACK!_ **

**_THWACK! THWACK! THWACK! THWACK! THWACK!_ **

**_THWACK! THWACK! THWACK! THWACK! THWACK!_**

**_THWACK! THWACK! THWACK! THWACK! THWACK!_ **

**_THWACK! THWACK! THWACK! THWACK! THWACK!_ **

**_THWACK! THWACK! THWACK! THWACK! THWACK!_ **

**_THWACK! THWACK! THWACK! THWACK! THWACK!_ **

**_THWACK! THWACK! THWACK! THWACK! THWACK!_ **

**_THWACK! THWACK! THWACK! THWACK! THWACK!_ **

**_THWACK! THWACK! THWACK! THWACK! THWACK!_ **

**_THWACK! THWACK! THWACK! THWACK! THWACK!_ **

**_THWACK! THWACK! THWACK! THWACK! THWACK!_ **

**_THWACK! THWACK! THWACK! THWACK! THWACK!_ **

**_THWACK! THWACK! THWACK! THWACK! THWACK!_ **

**_THWACK! THWACK! THWACK! THWACK! THWACK!_ **

**_THWACK! THWACK! THWACK! THWACK! THWACK!_ **

**_THWACK! THWACK! THWACK! THWACK! THWACK!_ **

**_THWACK! THWACK! THWACK! THWACK! THWACK!_ **

**_THWACK! THWACK! THWACK! THWACK! THWACK!_ **

**_THWACK! THWACK! THWACK! THWACK! THWACK!_ **

**_THWACK! THWACK! THWACK! THWACK! THWACK!_ **

**_THWACK! THWACK! THWACK! THWACK! THWACK!_ **

**_THWACK! THWACK! THWACK! THWACK! THWACK!_ **

Every strike was blocked perfectly by the ham in the little boy's hands, and every strike did absolutely no harm to its actual intended target.

Hugo cried and cried, coughing and weeping as the Batter tirelessly smashed his weapon against the makeshift shield.  The guardians and his parents would have no doubt been extremely proud of his impenetrable defense, but he just wanted to be left alone, now.  Anything would be better than an eternity spent deflecting a baseball bat with a piece of meat.

Hugo considered letting the Batter hit him, just kill him and get it over with, but the thought of dying was _still_ too much to bear.  He wasn't ready.  He didn't know when, if ever, he'd be ready.

**_THWACK!_ **

Outside the Room, the Judge meowed and scratched desperately at the door.  But so long as Hugo lived, it was a maze only Hugo himself, the late Queen, and the Batter could properly traverse.

**_THWACK!_ **

In the purified zones, ink faded from bleached pages, and doors locked themselves stiff in their frames.  The secretaries ambled about, patrolling the wastelands, waiting patiently to rejoin the Nothingness.

**_THWACK!_ **

The Batter swung and swung.

The Judge pawed uselessly at the door outside.

The purified zones languished.

But Hugo simply wouldn't budge.


End file.
